


Differential Matchmaking

by Ellana17



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Episode Related, Episode Tag, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Matchmaking, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellana17/pseuds/Ellana17
Summary: Cameron is the first to notice what has truly been going on with House and Wilson and won’t rest until House is happy. This might take a while.





	Differential Matchmaking

**Author's Note:**

> I really did not need another OTP but here we are. Dang it.
> 
> This is set after episode 1x12 Sports Medicine

Cameron carefully blew on her coffee as she waited for the others to finally make an appearance.

“So how was your date with House?” Foreman asked as soon as he crossed the threshold.

Cameron glared. “It wasn’t a date,” she pointed out.

Foreman shrugged and poured himself a cup of coffee, all the while smirking knowingly at his colleague.

“Very mature,” Cameron mumbled before taking another gulp, ignoring the man.

“How was your date?” Chase asked, making his way inside the office.

Cameron put down the mug forcefully and glared at the blond. “It wasn’t a date,” she said again. The two men chuckled. “He talked about Wilson non-stop,” she informed them calmly.

“Right, what else is new?” Chase pointed out and Foreman nodded in agreement.

“He seemed very upset that Wilson ditched him,” she informed them. “It made me feel kind of bad for him actually,” she added as an afterthought.

“Well, that blows,” Chase said.

Cameron frowned, deep in thought. “Not necessarily,” she pointed out after a few seconds.

“What do you mean?” the blond asked, confused.

Foreman stared at her in disbelief. “No,” he said. “No way.”

“What?” Cameron exclaimed. “I just want him to be happy. Is that such a bad thing?”

“You want him to be happy?” Foreman scoffed. “With someone else? You’re telling me that this wouldn’t bother you? At all?”

“I know a lost cause when I see one,” Cameron countered. “Besides, wouldn’t you like for him to get off our backs just a little?”

“You’ve lost me,” Chase admitted.

Foreman sighed in defeat. “Cameron thinks House is in love with Wilson,” he explained, long-suffering.

Chase snorted. “Wait, you’re serious,” he realized suddenly. “But you just went on a date with the guy!”

“It wasn’t a date,” Cameron said again. “He doesn’t like me that way. Would you let it go?”

“Which brings me back to my main argument,” Foreman cut in. “Why on Earth would you want to push him into someone else’s arms?”

“It would make me feel better, I think,” Cameron explained.

“You’re nuts, you know that, right?” Foreman pointed out.

“He would be in a better mood if he got laid on the regular,” Chase reflected out loud and Cameron nodded in agreement.

Foreman glared at them. “You’re crazy, both of you. I’m not helping you with this.”

 

“You know he’s married, right?” Foreman felt the need to remind her.

“He’s getting a divorce,” Cameron stated without looking away from the microscope.

 

“Wilson’s not even gay!” Foreman argued.

“He might be bi,” Cameron countered without looking away from her lunch tray.

 

“What if it ruins their friendship?” Foreman asked. “Do you really want that on your conscience?”

Cameron rolled her eyes as she changed the patient’s IV bag. “House pulled a lot of crap over the years and Wilson’s still here, isn’t he?”

 

“So what’s the plan?” Chased asked a couple days later.

“We need House to admit his feelings,” Cameron stated confidently.

“That’s going to go well,” Foreman snorted.

Cameron glared at him and turned to Chase. “That’s the first step. We need to make him realize what he truly feels and make him acknowledge it out loud,” she explained. “If we can get him to tell us, it’ll only be a matter of time before he tells Wilson.”

Foreman raised his eyebrow. “Really? That’s your genius plan? Make House talk about his feelings? The way he acts, you’d think the guy is deadly allergic to those.”

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Chase said.

Cameron hummed in agreement. “I know. That might be a problem.”

“Gee, you think?” Foreman exclaimed.

“You’ll find a way,” Cameron told him confidently.

Foreman shook his head in defeat and left the office. He went looking for House and found him watching TV, sitting comfortably on a chair next to a coma patient.

“I hear you had a date with Cameron,” Foreman said.

House looked away from the screen long enough to glare at the man. “It was not-”

“Not a date,” Foreman cut in. “I heard that one before,” he mumbled.

“What do you want?” House asked, sipping a soda. “Shouldn’t you be out there, poking and prodding some idiot or other instead of engaging in small talk?”

“God knows how much you hate small talk.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m just trying to understand the logic here,” Foreman stated. “You bought tickets specifically for Wilson and somehow ended up on a date with Cameron. You see how this might be confusing? Were you planning to take Wilson out on a date?”

“You obviously must be very confused if you think I’d want to date Wilson,” House stated simply.

“Interesting. I think you do, actually.”

“Get out,” House told him flatly.

Foreman did not wait to be asked twice.

 

“He yelled at me,” Chase informed them, defeated.

The blond collapsed into a chair, sulking.

“Clearly, this is not working,” Foreman pointed out.

“You must be doing it wrong then,” Cameron supplied. “What did he tell you?” she asked Chase. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him to get a grip and jump his best friend,” Chase answered sarcastically. “What do you think? I was subtle about it, okay. I know what I’m doing but maybe you don’t.”

Cameron gasped. “Excuse me?” she exclaimed.

“Maybe we got it backwards,” Chase pointed out. “We should get Wilson to confess instead.”

Cameron shook her head. “That won’t work. Or else he would have made the first move years ago,” she noted.

“Why don’t you do it, then?” Foreman asked. “Talk to House.”

“And tell him what?” Cameron exclaimed in disbelief. “I realized that things between us could never work out so now I’m trying to get you to make a move on your best friend instead?” she asked, her voice rising.

“So that’s what has been going on,” House said, frowning at them from the doorway.

“Oops,” Chase mumbled.

“Why don’t you mind your own damn business?” House scolded them. “Or better yet, Mrs. Dunstable’s business. Or have you forgotten all about our patient?” he barked.

Cameron, Foreman and Chase jumped on their feet, mumbling an apology on their way out.

 

“Oh, for God’s sake,” House exclaimed as he saw the three fellows waiting for him in the underground parking lot. “What do you want now?” he asked, clearly annoyed.

Chase glanced at Foreman, who glanced at Cameron. The woman sighed. “We just want you to be happy,” she finally said.

“And you think pushing me into Wilson’s arms is going to do just that?” House asked in disbelief. “I thought you guys were supposed to be smart.”

“Hey,” Chase exclaimed, taking offense.

“Oh, grow up, will you?” House said. “Life is not a fairy tale where you can confess your undying love for your best friend and not have him resent you for lying to him all those years,” he barked.

“But you lie to him all the time,” Foreman pointed out.

“About patients,” House pointed out. “When I need a consult. But who care about them.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Cuddy you said that.”

All four of them turned around at hearing the voice behind them and came face to face with Wilson.

“Busted,” Chase said under his breath.

“Could you guys give us a minute?” Wilson asked calmly without glancing away from House.

The three fellows nodded vigorously before slowly backing away.

“How much did you hear?” House asked, trying to assess the damage.

“Enough,” Wilson answered evenly.

House stared at his friend. Wilson did not seem pissed off. In fact, the man did not seem even remotely surprised.

“What gave it away?” House finally asked.

“Your kids have been harassing me for two days straight, if you must know. None of them were subtle about their intensions.”

“How come they are our kids when they behave themselves but my kids when they don’t,” House joked.

Wilson rolled his eyes. “They’re always your kids. I’m pretty sure that’s what fellowship means.”

House frowned. “That doesn’t sound right.”

Wilson smiled in spite of himself. “Sorry to be the one to break it to you.”

“Aren’t you going to say something?” House asked after a few moments of silence.

Wilson glanced at him curiously. “About what?”

“About me lying to you for a start.”

“You wanted to protect our friendship,” Wilson stated. “I get it. I’m not even mad about it, actually.”

“Well, you should be,” House pointed out.

“I can’t be mad at you for lying when I’ve been doing the same thing for months.”

House froze. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked suddenly.

“Why didn’t you?” Wilson challenged.

“But you knew about me,” House reminded him. “And you never said anything about being anything other than straight.”

“Yeah, well the fact that you were into guys didn’t mean you were into me,” Wilson explained. House raised his eyebrow and Wilson shrugged. “I had a bit of an epiphany,” he added, anticipating House’s next question.

“A bit late for that, don’t you think?” House said under his breath.

“I hope not,” Wilson whispered before softly brushing his lips against House’s own.

When House finally opened his eyes again, he caught sight of his three fellows gaping at them from the other side of the parking lot.

“Oh, would you just go away!” he barked at them.

 

THE END


End file.
